Quitting

 

How many times have you started a new year with some version of a “quitting” resolution?

I know for me it has been a lot. Even the resolutions to DO something (vs. not doing, i.e., quitting) often have a rejection of their opposite embedded in them.

Quit sugar. Quit alcohol. Quit saying “yes” to things that stress me out. Quit clutter. Quit TV. Quit the physical inactivity that caused me to gain that extra weight. And so many more.

It’s not a bad thing, the intention to release what isn’t serving us. In fact, it can be a really good thing.

And yet…

There’s so often a message embedded in those “quitting” resolutions that says, “You are not okay. Something about you or your life needs to be fixed.”

As you surely know by now if you’ve been hanging around Joybook for a while, I absolutely embrace and celebrate the act of learning from our life experiences — so that we can evolve and grow as humans — and so we can craft lives that are more aligned with what really matters to each of us.

But my aspiration for myself — and what I also hope to help YOU do — is to undertake that growth and change in a spirit of self-acceptance and self-love.

It feels icky to be shaming and shoulding ourselves into change. And, on a very pragmatic level, it’s also not as effective. As habits researcher B.J. Fogg has discovered, sustainable change happens when we feel good — when we celebrate ourselves and the life-affirming actions we’re taking.

So yes, quitting can have real value.

Identifying and releasing the things that harm us. That pull energy and attention from what truly matters to us. That crowd our lives and leave no space or time for enjoying what’s here.

That can be a true gift — IF we do it kindly, authentically, affirmingly.

I took a little pause before picking “Quitting” as our theme this month. I didn’t want this to be about shaming ourselves — or about mindlessly accepting the outside messages that tell us what we should or shouldn’t be doing.

My hope is that our explorations this month will instead be truly authentic and self-affirming.

May we continue to listen deeply to ourselves and honor what arises. May we respect our own intuition about what it’s time to quit. And when (or whether) we take action, may we love ourselves deeply in our imperfect humanity as we navigate the inevitable setbacks along the way.

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