It’s impossible as a human being to go through life without being hurt — and without also inflicting some hurts.
For many of us, the majority of the wounds we inflict are actually on ourselves, usually in the form of small, repeated barbs as we talk to and judge ourselves in ways that are less than kind.
But there are other sources of wounds too — and often wells of anger and bitterness within us that have built up from not fully acknowledging and addressing those wounds.
The perpetrators can be people we love and know intimately (such as a life partner or other family member). They can be people we don’t actually know at all (such as an internet troll, a hit-and-run driver, or members of a social or political movement). Or they can fall anywhere on the spectrum in between.
Whatever your experience with these various types of wounds, our topic for this month — Forgiveness — is one with relevance for all of us.
Forgiving doesn’t mean that the person shouldn’t be held accountable for their actions — or that you should open yourself up to further transgressions. But it does mean releasing yourself from the hold that anger can have over you.
Research about forgiveness suggests that the act of forgiving has many benefits — from improved well-being and and outlook on life, to spiritual growth and emotional maturity, to concrete outcomes like improved relationships with other people (beyond the transgressor), better work habits, and reductions in perceived pain.
Overall, it can help you break out of destructive patterns that are holding you back and grow into a version of yourself who is larger than the hurts you have experienced.
There are no guarantees with forgiveness. You can’t control how anyone will respond to you. You might be able to renew the relationship, or you may need to release it. But either way, forgiving — or making amends if you yourself have hurt someone — is, in the end, a gift to yourself.
This is a powerful and important topic. I look forward to exploring it together this month — from a stance of compassion, kindness, courage, openness, and curiosity.
And I’m grateful to know we are here to be gentle supports to one another as we undertake this important inward journey.
Explore This Theme Inside Joybook
New this month…
- Journaling Series — Forgiving Yourself
- Informal Chat (with bonus self-paced journaling prompts) — The Process of Forgiving: The Enright Model
- Quick Prompts — “Forgiveness”
From the archives…
- Workshop — Navigating Difficult Conversations
- Workshop — Assertiveness
- Workshop — Mindful Self-Compassion
- Workshop — Shame Resilience & Wholehearted Living
- Workshop — Racial Healing & Your Beautiful Life: Exploring Embodied Race
- Journaling — Dealing With Challenging Emotions (RAIN technique)
- Journaling Series — Atlas of the Heart (based on the book by Brené Brown) sessions on anger, on unmet expectations, and on self-evaluation
- Journaling Series — Letting Go
- Journaling Series — Beautiful Boundaries
- Journaling Replay — “Introduction to Your Shadow” (from the Befriending Your Shadow series)
- TED Talk — Susan David on “Emotional Agility”
- Or you might also consider exploring content from our Joybook content library with tags on topics such as anger, boundaries, conflict, compassion, failure, forgiveness, imperfection, self-acceptance, shame, trauma, etc.